Book Review: Journey of Our Love: The Letters of St. Gianna Beretta Molla and Pietro Molla

The Journey of Our Love: The Letters of St. Gianna Beretta Molla and Pietro Molla

Edited by Elio Guerriero
Boston: Pauline Books and Media, 2014

St. Gianna Beretta Molla is a popular saint, not only because she was so profoundly pro-life as to give up her own life in order to save her unborn child, but also because she was a modern woman and a working mother. She is someone mothers of today can relate to and aspire to imitate as we carry out our own vocation. “Journey of Our Love: The Letters of St. Gianna Beretta Molla and Pietro Molla” allows us an intimate look at the relationship between husband and wife as they sought to establish and nurture their domestic church. While her letters were previously published, this is the first time the letters of both have been published together as Pietro Molla requested that his correspondence not be published until after his death.

As editor Elio Guerriero states in the introduction, “These letters are a convincing proof that the way of holiness does not necessarily pass through religious life or the priestly ministry, but can unfold in the midst of the world, living one’s own vocation as a Christian called to holiness with Christ in married life.”

The book offers a short biography of both St. Gianna and her husband, who met when he was 42 and she was 32. Their friendship quickly grew to love and they married in September of 1955. Their marriage would last seven short years until Gianna died soon after giving birth to their fourth child. They packed a great deal of love and joy into those years which is revealed in their letters. 

“Journey of Our Love” includes letters from their dating and engagement period as well as their marriage. They were separated frequently due to Pietro’s work travel as well as during vacations. While they did have access to the telephone and made use of it, they often wrote each other every day during these separations, leaving a wonderful record of their relationship. The copious footnotes provide the reader with background information and allow for a greater appreciation and understanding of the text.

  

In the days of their courtship and engagement, we see two people who want to make each other happy and who delight in each other. As Pietro wrote on September 6, 1955, “Your love makes everything more beautiful to me.” Their love, even in its infancy, was always rooted in prayer and references to God and the Catholic faith are frequent in their epistles.  This love, centered on God, made their relationship more blessed. 

During their married life, they shared the joy and expectation of the birth of their children and their struggles in caring for them when they were sick. The couple comes across very human as they discuss the early hour their daughter awakes, Gianna’s fear of airplanes, Pietro’s need to have teeth pulled, their in-laws, work issues, financial matters, and the simple missing of each other. These were two people living married life, coping with all the everyday matters that entails. Where their holy virtue is evident is that all of this daily living was deeply rooted in God. In addition, their love for each other always shines through.  

“Journey of Our Love” is a beautiful book for anyone who has a devotion to St. Gianna and who wants to learn more about her married life. It also provides a wonderful look at the beauty of a married life rooted in the love of God, the ideal to which Catholic married couples should aspire.

Review of “Sex au Naturel: What it is and Why it’s Good for your Marriage” by Patrick Coffin

Leave it to a well-informed Catholic to be able to write for 134 pages about sex without being “sexy”. Despite the romantic cover, this book is actually a rather technical and philosophical treatise explaining the true meaning and reasoning behind Humanae Vitae and other church documents pertaining to human sexuality and marriage.

“Sex au Naturel: What it is and Why it’s Good for your Marriage” by Patrick Coffin was written primarily for practicing Catholics but all Christians may benefit from it. Whether the reader believes whole-heartedly in the teachings of the Catholic Church regarding sexuality, dissents, or is confused either about what the catechism teaches or how he or she feels about it, this book offers rational clarification. One may disagree at the end, but with a better understanding of many different facets of the issues.

Coffin first explains the basics of the 1968 papal encyclical “Humanae Vitae” (“On the Regulation of Human Life”) and the world’s reaction to it, in the context of the 1960’s, the introduction of the Pill and the Sexual Revolution, and the Second Vatican Council. Other little known encyclicals are referenced.

The author explains the mistaken view of conscience that powers the movement of dissent against the Church’s sexual ethics. Then he delves into the scriptural basis for these teachings and the logic of natural law that coincides with the same. He explains how Protestant churches originally reached the same conclusions and why they diverged from them.

What does the marital act have to do with the Trinity? This section is mind-blowing in its comparisons of pro-creative sex with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The argument for “Sex au Naturel” from here on gets more and more powerful.

Proceed from there to the explanation of how contraception contradicts natural law. Coffin also goes into how exactly contraception is different, both physically and spiritually, from natural family planning, and how couples who have been sterilized can get a “second chance” in following Catholic teaching in their marriage. He also explains how reproductive technologies go against the grain of Christian teaching when marital love is taken out of procreation.

The appendix includes many informational references on Natural Family Planning, Theology of the Body, Catholic Teaching on Sex and Marriage, Educational Organizations, Sexual Addiction, and Marriage Counseling and Support.

This book is excellent reading for anyone who wants to be better informed about Catholic teaching on sex and marriage. It would be a great complement to marriage preparation classes or marriage counseling sessions.

This review was written as part of the Catholic book Reviewer program from The Catholic Company. I was sent the book for free in exchange for my honest review. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Sex au Naturel .

17 Again

[Spoiler alert.]

In "17 Again", Zac Efron plays Mike O’Donnell, the once-college-bound athlete with promises of a “free ride” scholarship, who later thinks that he threw it all away to marry his pregnant girlfriend Scarlett. At the age of 17 his girlfriend tells him of her pregnancy right before the biggest game of his life. With the scouts watching and his girlfriend walking away, he walks off the court to chase after her and ask her to marry him.

Flash forward to middle-age, wherein Mike (now played by Michael Perry) has a nowhere job and does nothing but complain about his family life. His wife (Scarlett, played by Leslie Mann) throws him out and he is forced to move in with his wealthy software genius nerd and best friend Ned Freedman (Thomas Lennon). He walks to the high school to reminisce. There a mysterious janitor apparently casts a spell on him and he meets with an accident that transforms himself into his 17-year-old self. He is still, however, in his own time.

After he convinces Ned that he is himself, Ned enrolls him in the high school, thinking he is meant to live out the basketball-college-star-dream he was once on track for. However, Mike soon realizes that his true path is to help his own children, who are also presently enrolled in the same school. His daughter is dating a boy who is pressuring her to have sex, and his son is a talented basketball player who just needs a confidence boost to get himself on the team and make some friends. Mike is able to befriend his children in a way he would not have been able to in the state of their previous father-child relationship.

Meanwhile, Scarlett is starting to date, while forced to remember the good old days because of the haunting presence of this young man who looks exactly like her husband did when he was 17. Things escalate to the point of divorce proceedings before all is made right. The kids’ problems are solved, Scarlett and Mike fall back in love, and Mike is transformed back into his normal aged body – with no regrets.

This movie is a great conversation-starter for parents and kids. The messages are pro-life, pro-abstinence, and pro-marriage. I recommend this film for teens; and for pre-teens with parental guidance. It can also be used as part of an abstinence program in any youth program.

Presently playing on HBO.

Movie Review: The Time Traveler's Wife

I reviewed the novel here. When I heard it was going to be a movie, I wondered how the story would be handled. There's a lot of jumping around and changes in point-of-view, switching from Henry to Clare and back again. How would a movie audience not become confused?

Screenwriter Bruce Joel Rubin did an excellent job. The movie begins with young Henry DeTamble in the car with his mother, an opera singer, on a fateful Christmas Eve, when Henry discovers his ability to move through time. An older Henry (Eric Bana) meets him at the side of the road, bringing a blanket, and reassuring young Henry that, although this experience is strange, it will be okay.

Flash forward several years. A young student, Clare Abshire (Rachel McAdams), needs a book in the Collections section. She is referred to the librarian, whom she recognizes as Henry. However, Henry hasn't met her yet, so he's confused. Over dinner, Clare explains how she knows Henry from her childhood. And why his time-traveling doesn't surprise her.

It does surprise the boyfriend of her roommate, however. Gomez (Ron Livingston) is very protective of Clare. When he sees Henry fighting in alley while wearing a pink ruffled top and cutoff shorts, he has a few questions. He has a few more when Henry breaks into a surplus store and when Henry disappears. Gomez tries to tell Clare, but, of course, she knows all about Henry's traveling.

Henry's travel causes several awkward moments, especially since he seems to "travel" during times of stress. His traveling has also created a rift with his father (Arliss Howard), who wants to know why Henry can't prevent his mother's death. And, apparently, time traveling is genetic. Clare has several miscarriages as the developing fetus "travels" out of her uterus. (Why this didn't happen with Henry--or where his time travel gene came from--is never explained, which bugs me a bit.)

The emotions and relationships among the characters are well done and realistic, especially when Henry and Clare deal with the miscarriages. There is one, almost obligatory, slam against Clare's father who is "a Republican and he hunts." Of course, the fact that this particular Republican paid for Clare to study art in college is never mentioned. Ignore that and the miscarriage/gene plot hole and enjoy the movie.

The ending, although different from the book, is poignant and satisfactory.

There are some sex scenes which are more sensual than sex. When Henry time travels, he arrives nude, but these are also tastefully done. There is one phrase ("Oh, sh..!") that recurs, but usually in situations where I'd say the same thing. It's rated PG-13, which seems appropriate, but I don't think many younger teens would enjoy it.

I made Hubs take me to this movie. To quote him, "This is a chick flick a guy can enjoy!" There's the science fiction element, it's not mushy, and there is some action--Henry is definitely not a beta male.

On the March Hare scale: 4.5 out of 5 Golden Tickets

Crossposted at The Mad Tea Party

Movie Review: Marley & Me

Ostensibly, Marley & Me is about the world's worst dog. In reality, it's about family and love.

John (Owen Wilson) and Jen (Jennifer Aniston) Grogan are newlyweds. Jen has their life together all planned: moved somewhere warm, get jobs, buy a house. When a houseplant dies, Jen complains, "How am I supposed to take care of a kid when I can't take care of a stupid plant?", John realizes what Jen's next "step" is. He discusses this with his bachelor friend and colleague, Sebastian, who recommends getting a puppy. So John takes Jen off to a breeder where they get a "Clearance Sale" puppy--Marley.

Marley turns out to have a few quirks. He eats anything and everything. He's afraid of thunderstorms. He has nearly unlimited energy and an unconquerable will. He is untrainable. And he loves John and Jen unconditionally.

And they love Marley, despite all the chaos he brings to their lives.

John is offered a chance to write a twice weekly column. Initially, he's reluctant to accept it because he sees himself as a reporter. But the offer includes a raise, so he takes the assignment. His first column is about Marley. His editor (Alan Arkin) reads it and, perfectly deadpan, says, "This is hilarious. I'm laughing my ass off here."

Eventually, John and Jen decide to have a baby. Jen announces she's pregnant at the same time John's colleague, Sebastian, is offered a chance to go to the Middle East--and he wants to bring John along. John has to make a real choice here: career versus family.

And then Jen has a miscarriage.

John doesn't know what to do. But Marley does.

The Grogans do have children eventually and Jen has choices to make as well. Although Marley doesn't treat the children as chew toys, he's still pretty incorrigible and Jen becomes overwhelmed with it all. John is feeling the stress as well: he's the sole breadwinner and his column is now running five days a week. A decision--a serious one--has to be made about Marley and his place in the family. John and Jen also have to make a decision about their future as well.

Because the movie is based on the real-life experiences of the actual John Grogan, many of the scenes hit home for Hubs and me. The conversations John and Jen had were conversations that we've had, albeit with wittier lines. Their relationship with their kids, as well as the relationship of the kids with Marley, rang true. Despite the comedy, this movie does not sugar-coat the sacrifices each partner makes so that marriage and family life works.

The ending is predictable but not overly sentimental. The parents acted like adults, not hiding the facts of life from their children but helping them cope with the inevitable.

Bring tissues.

This movie is rated PG but I wouldn't bring young children (although there were some in the audience), mostly because the emotional undertones might be overwhelming. There is some swearing, a couple of implied sex scenes between John and Jen (hey--they're married, right?), one implied nude scene (again, it's John and Jen in the privacy of their own backyard). DD#2 (who is 15) enjoyed the movie, although she didn't always laugh at the same parts Hubs and I did. On the way home we talked about the dogs in our family, especially our current dog who broke through a closed window as a puppy--twice--and was notorious for chewing stuffed toys and underwear. (Fortunately, old age has mellowed her. She is currently sleeping on the couch next to me.)

The casting, by the way, is superb. Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston play off each other well. They look like real people who have lived real lives. They're sweet and goofy and serious when they should be. Alan Arkin plays John's unsentimental editor who pushes him to grow into adulthood. Kathleen Turner has a great cameo as the obedience school trainer. Eric Dane is Sebastian, the eternal bachelor and the life John Grogan could have had. Sebastian could be a sleaze, but he's not. The actors who play the Grogan kids are not precocious or overly adorable.

Kudos also to the animal trainers and handlers as well as the dogs who played Marley at different ages. Having a dog misbehave on cue is no small feat!

On the March Hare scale: 5 out of 5 Golden Tickets. An especially good "date night" movie for us old married couples who have raised a dog and a kid or two.

crossposted at The Mad Tea Party

The Bucket List: Movie Review

Hubs was up for a movie and I was ready to see something other than the four walls of the family room, so off we went to the local cineplex. Just our luck: The Bucket List was playing. Starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, how could this be a bad choice?

And it wasn't. Mr. Nicholson plays Edward Cole, a self-made multi-millionaire who, by his own admission, is better at work than at marriage. One of his specialties is taking over bankrupt community hospitals and turning them around--including eliminating private rooms. So when he needs to be admitted, he ends up sharing a room with one Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman). Carter is a mechanic who is a history buff. In fact, he wanted to become a history professor, except that his wife became pregnant and being young and black, he took the first good-paying job he could find and abandoned his dream. He's been married to the same woman for 45 years, has two sons and a daughter in college. And he's been through chemotherapy before. He's now on experimental treatment.

Edward wants a private room, but his assistant, Thomas (played very well by Sean Hayes), reminds him of his public pronouncements about the same. So Edward and Carter develop a friendship, born of proximity and their common struggle against cancer. Carter notices that Edward's only visitor is Thomas. Edward notices that Carter can't seem to ever find his doctor, and so tells his doctor (played by Rob Morrow) to take over Carter's care as well. The news for Carter is not good.

Carter has begun to write a list, called "The Bucket List," based on an exercise originally from his freshman philosophy professor. Once he receives his prognosis, he throws the list away. Edward retrieves it and convinces Carter that this is a great idea; they should do this together. Edward has money enough and isn't particularly anxious to have people hover around watching him die. Carter reluctantly agrees, although his wife is not at all supportive. (I wouldn't be either, if my husband went traveling around the globe and didn't take me!)

During their journey, secrets are shared. Carter confesses that once the children had left the house and it was just himself and his wife, he wondered if he still loved her. Edward confesses that he has a daughter, from whom he is estranged and eventually tells Carter how the estrangement came about. They discuss faith: Carter has it; Edward doesn't. On top of one of the pyramids in Egypt, Carter talks about the two questions the ancient Egyptians believed they would be asked after death: Did you have joy in your life? Did you bring joy to another?

In Hong Kong, Carter is faced with a choice and realizes what is important to him. And, eventually, so does Edward.

The ending is perfect.

Nicholson, of course, excels at playing the cantankerous old man. Sean Hayes, as Edward's assistant, is no mere milquetoast, however, and gives as good as he gets. Edward seems to appreciate that.

There is some mild language, an implied sexual encounter, and some frank talk about sex and bodily functions, so the PG-13 label is deserved. Both DD#2 and DS#2 saw it (DD#2 with us; DS#2 with friends) and while they probably didn't appreciate some of the "black" humor like Hubs and I did, they enjoyed the movie. Facing death is approached positively, and the message that we can control our attitude if not our circumstances is a positive one. As is the fact that Carter and his wife have been married for 45 years and she is the only woman he has ever "had."

On a personal note, Carter's youngest daughter was a "surprise," a reference which made me nudge DD#2 (our own personal "surprise") and made her smile. Also, one of the items on the list is "Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world" and I cried when Edward crossed that off the list.

Other funny moments: skydiving and driving the Mustang Shelby.

I only hope I meet someone with deep pockets when I'm ready to make up my own "Bucket List." :)

Seriously, this movie provides a way for families to discuss death and what they would like to accomplish in their lives. Especially for those of us with older parents, the movie makes a case for mending fences and for Not Waiting Until the Right Time. There is no Right Time. If you can, do it now. And this movie makes the point rather quietly and with humor, rather than pounding A Message over your head.

On the March Hare Scale: 4.5 out of 5 Golden Bookmarks. I'm classifying this as a "Pro-Life" film because it is--pro-life to the very end, rather than "I'm dying, so put me out of my misery." I think positive "End of Life" messages are as important these days as positive "Beginning of Life."

Emily's Hope: A Pro-life Love Story

Emily’s Hope
Author: Ellen Gable
Full Quiver Publishing, June 1, 2005
Paperback: 360 pages

Emily's Hope is an engaging love story and a young Catholic woman’s search for the truth as she travels the difficult journey from adolescence to adulthood in the late seventies through the present day. It also depicts the story of another woman’s journey, that of Emily’s great-grandmother, who appears to be the antithesis of Emily. While Emily is an innocent, unselfish, religious young woman who seeks the truth in life and love, and discovers their real meaning via Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, her great – grandmother, journeying through the early part of the 20th century to the 1960’s, abused as a child, raised without religion, married to a man she doesn’t love, haphazardly enters into one affair after another, and embraces Margaret Sanger’s philosophy. The two stories are craftfully interwoven, creating a delightful suspense for the reader.

The target audience for Emily’s Hope is clearly the young adult, aged 16 – 30, though men and women of all ages would enjoy this compelling personal story which is written in a lucid, intimate style. Young women will most certainly be drawn into the story by the romance and the lively escapades of adolescence and adulthood presented, and at the same time, will learn about the Catholic teachings regarding sexuality and marriage.

What I found most interesting about this semi- fictitious story based on the real life experiences of the author was the relationship that Emily shares with her boyfriend, who later becomes her husband. A young, Catholic man (at the peak of his sexual drive), strongly grounded in his faith, he convinces Emily, the older, and slightly more “worldly” woman, of the importance of chastity and abstinence. He is an excellent model for male youth today – someone for them to emulate in their struggles with chastity.

There is so much to love about Emily’s Hope – the innocence of young love, the beautiful, miraculous, healing power of love, and the beauty of sacrificial married love and its life-giving splendor. The story is not a fantasy, but is a tender and sensitive portrayal of what makes love real and lasting.

My rating: ***** out of a possible 5 stars.

~ Jean M. Heimann, Copyright, 2006

Crossposted at Catholic Fire.