Gnomeo and Juliet: A Movie Review

Who could forget the story of Romeo and Juliet? Anyone who had this story overanalyzed in their high school literature class will remember the tragic events leading to the deaths of both young lovers. Here we have a retelling with a happy ending. The other major difference is that the characters are played by garden gnomes.

With very little prologue, the audience is taken to the front yards of the Capulets and Montagues. The owners of the houses hurl insults at each other as they leave for work. Once they are gone, the garden gnomes come to life, revealing the materialistic and antagonistic tendencies they have inherited from their owners. The Blues (Montague) and the Reds (Capulet) are obsessed with outdoing the other’s gardens.

While on a mission to obtain a beautiful flower from the top of a greenhouse for her family’s garden, Juliet Capulet meets with Gnomeo Montague. He is on a revenge mission and they are both in disguise. It is love at first sight, and they play-fight over the flower until their disguises are removed and they discover they each come from opposing families.

With the help of a frog gnome, who plays the nanny to Juliet, and a pink flamingo, who serves as a sort of chaperone during their trysts, Gnomeo and Juliet meet several times. In the meantime, the war between their families continues. Ben Montague loses his tall blue hat in a fight with Tybalt Capulet. Gnomeo attempts revenge through a mower race with Tybalt. Tybalt loses, crashing his mower into a fence and getting smashed. An angry crowd chases Gnomeo into the street.

It appears that Gnomeo has gotten crushed in the street, but actually what they see is a broken teacup that has fallen out of a truck. With Gnomeo missing and taken for dead, the war between the houses escalates, with the purchase of an upscale tractor mower. Juliet’s father glues her to a pedestal at the top of a fountain so she can stay “safe” at home.

I love the part where Gnomeo converses with a statue of William Shakespeare, asking him how his story ends. Shakespeare found it both suitable and satisfactory that they both die in the end. Gnomeo is determined on a better fate. He returns just in time and, although both gardens are ruined by the upscale tractor mower that has gone into “destruction” mode, the two families decide to end their feud and forgive one another.

The movie ends with a wedding. The flamingo finds his long-lost love. Tybalt even gets glued together and is seen dancing at the wedding.

A few parts that parents may find objectionable include a garden gnome in a revealing bathing suit that shows his entire backside, a joke about a squirrel losing his “nuts”, and a flashback scene in which the flamingo is showing how he lost his true love due to the separation of the couple who owned their house. In my opinion these are trivial issues that don’t take away from the overall charm of the movie. Parents may want to discuss the fact that Gnomeo and Juliet sneak out to court without the permission of their parents.

The message of the movie is a Christian one of love and forgiveness. Courtship and matrimony are also shown in a positive light.

Book Review: The Time Traveler's Wife

Six-year-old Clare Anne Abshire is in The Meadow, an isolated area behind her family home, when a naked man suddenly appears. He asks for the beach towel she is using and she gives it to him. He introduces himself: he is Henry DeTamble. Clare does not know him but Henry knows her because he is her husband in the future.

Henry has a problem: he is a Time Traveler. In times of stress, he returns to important scenes or places in his life. He can't control his comings and goings and he can't bring anything backward with him (which means he always arrives at his location naked--a problem in the winter). Clare is normal, living her life one day at a time in sequence. This causes some unusual problems in their relationship. In the beginning, Henry knows about her future; later, she knows what will happen to him before he does. For example, when Clare finally meets Henry in her present, she is 20 and he is 28. She recognizes him from her past. He hasn't met her yet and doesn't realize that she will become his wife.

And there are paradoxes. Older Henry often visits his younger self, acting as a mentor, teaching him how to survive in the time he's in until he jumps back to his current present. And when he visits events that are personally traumatic, like the death of his mother, there is nothing Henry can do to prevent it.

Audrey Niffenegger does an excellent job keeping all this straight. She tells the story both from the point of view of Clare and of Henry, noting the relative ages of each (or of each Henry if the scene is one where Henry meets himself) at the top of the each section. Henry's problem causes peculiar difficulties not only for him but also for his relationship with Clare and with others in his life: his friends, his co-workers. Henry and Clare search for a cure or a way to control his jumping. And Clare desperately wants a child. Theirs is not a fairy tale life, although perhaps their jobs are (Clare is an artist, Henry works at a rare book library).

The Time Traveler's Wife is a romance and a science fiction novel, albeit "soft" science fiction (Henry's ability to time travel is given only a cursory explanation). Still, they are a team and they remain faithful to each other through it all.

DD#1 (who is 21) also enjoyed the story. We both liked it better than The Secret Life of Bees. An excellent vacation book.

As a side note: Clare is Catholic, or has been raised Catholic and I believe Henry is Jewish. However, except for a scene at Midnight Mass and their wedding, religion is not discussed. Henry is agnostic or atheist; Clare does not seem to practice her religion at all. I think Ms. Niffenegger missed an interesting opportunity here.

On the March Hare scale: 4 out of 5 Golden Bookmarks

crossposted at The Mad Tea Party

Audio Review: The Arkangel Complete Shakespeare

I don't remember where I saw the Arkangel recordings of Shakespeare mentioned. It sent me to our library, which luckily has quite a few of the plays. I listened only to the beginning of Gentlemen from Verona, before deciding that I needed to begin with something a bit more familiar to get my "ear" accustomed again to the cadence of Shakespearean speech. However, even that brief encounter made me eager for more. Both the acting and the sound production were wonderful. It was sheer genius to have the opening scene over cocktails in a piano bar (or so it sounded). It clearly took me into the scene in an unexpected way.

I am now waiting impatiently for the library to get Macbeth to me. That story is much more familiar and I will have a better chance at absorbing it all.

Imagine my delight then when Thomas McDonald, the guest blogger who gave us yesterday's review of Bioshock, presented me with this thoughtful and complete review of the entire Arkangel series. Sit back, read, and enjoy. Then take thee to a library (or store) and begin enjoying Shakespeare in a whole new way! Thank you Thomas!

Barring some great discovery, we will never know for certain whether or not William Shakespeare was a faithful Protestant or a crypto-Catholic. The evidence for his Catholicism is extremely persuasive, and marshaled to great in effect in Clare Asquith’s Shadowplay. Asquith, however, overplays her hand by seeing coded Catholicism everywhere in Shakespeare’s work, ultimately undermining the simple facts that we do know.

Those plain facts should be enough: both Shakespeare’s parents and his daughter Susanna were Catholic; he moved in very Catholic circles in a dangerous time; he’s barely found in the records of Protestant Churches, even when attendance was mandatory; and his work shows many imprints of Catholic doctrine and largely lacks the anti-Papist invective common to his age. Given the confusion of the times, it may be likely that he remained sympathetic to the Old Faith without being a fervent recusant. We’re unlikely to ever have definitive proof one way or another.

One thing that’s never been in doubt, however, is his genius, and it’s on full and glorious display in one of the most ambitious projects in recording history. In the 1990s, television and film producer Bill Shepherd (husband of actress Eileen Atkins, who turns in some great performances on the set) spearheaded the complete recorded plays of Shakespeare. Over 3 years and at a cost of $3 million dollars, all thirty-eight plays, complete with some 600 speaking parts and including a wide range of sound effects and music, were produced under the direction of Clive Brill. From the loftiest heights of Shakespearean majesty (Hamlet, Lear, Macbeth) to the furthest and most forgotten corners (Pericles, Timon of Athens, Cymbeline), every word of every play was committed to tape with a full cast of seasoned Shakespearean talent and even a few marquee stars.

It would be impossible to cover the entire set in any depth, but some performers and plays stand out. The greatest actor to work on the Arkangel Shakespeare was Sir John Gielgud, who was 94 when he recorded his two roles. Gielgud plays the narrator-poet Gower in Pericles, as well as “Time, the Chorus” in The Winter’s Tale. His fading voice in the Time soliloquies lends a particularly bittersweet poetry to the role. The speeches are long, and Gielgud is clearly at the end of his life. His majestic voice has lost much of its plummy tone, but he still delivers note-perfect performances.

The London Independent was present when the Gielgud recording was made, and noted how Sir John (who was paid a single day-rate like everyone else) asked if could also do the Chorus in Henry V. He was turned down because Brian Cox had already done it. “Oh well, he’s very good,” replied Gielgud. Although Cox is probably still best known to moviegoers as the original Hannibal Lecter in Manhunter, he’s also one of the premiere Shakespeareans of his generation, and turns in solid voice work on several of the discs.

Fans of Shakespeare in Love, in which Joseph Fiennes played Shakespeare playing Romeo, will be delighted to hear Fiennes in a complete production as Romeo, opposite Maria Miles as Juliet. Like most Romeos, he’s too old for the role, but he does a respectable job, only rarely letting some of the play’s more sticky sentimentality overwhelm him. Just watch out for the kissing scenes. They sound like someone got his lips caught in a bottle.

Simon Russell Beale does excellent work as Hamlet, with a performance reminiscent of Kenneth Branagh’s in his own film of Hamlet. No complaint there, since Branagh managed to bring out the bitter humor of the Prince without getting lost in the world-weariness that can easily overtake the character. Beale handles the play’s many abrupt shifts in tone with finesse, and he’s matched by excellent performances all around. Shakespeare’s finest play is the jewel in the crown of the set, as it should be.

Cieran Hindes (best known as Caesar from the HBO miniseries Rome) tackles the incredible poetry of Antony and Cleopatra with remarkable skill, playing a passionate Antony to Estelle Kohler’s steamy Cleopatra. Hinds also turns in a touching performance in the role of Leontes in The Winter’s Tale, handling the shimmering, mystical finale in whispered, delicate tones that would be impossible on a stage. For those who are less familiar with this, one of Shakespeare’s “problem plays”, the Arkangel disc is a great place to start.

The unity of the recording project gave the producers an opportunity for some interesting casting choices. Julian Glover plays Bolingbroke/Henry IV and Jamie Glover plays Prince Hal/Henry V throughout the history plays (Richard III, Henry IV 1 & 2, and Henry V). The father/son team might seem like stunt casting, but both are veteran Shakespeareans who acquit themselves expertly throughout. Jamie, in particular, makes a convincing transformation from the callow youth of Henry IV Part 1 to the stirring hero of Henry V. Some other notable performances include Rupert Graves in the difficult role of Richard II, Adrian Lester as Antony in Julius Caesar, Trevor Peacock as Lear, and Bill Nighy as Antonio in Merchant of Venice.

Not every performance works, but given the vastness of the project it’s surprising to see how few duds there are. I’ve listened to Harriet Walter’s Lady Macbeth many times, and the performance still doesn’t sit right with me. Her voice seems to high and quirky to pull off the role. Everyone around her, however, does a fine job, including Hugh Ross as Macbeth and three pitch-perfect witches.

The low point of the series is what should have been one its centerpieces. A Midsummer Night’s Dream is a mess. The fairy voices are digitally processed and hard to understand, the music is terrible, and the Caribbean accents for Tatania and Oberon are reminiscent of too many gimmicky modern productions. If you want to experiment, Dream is not the place to do it. Bad artistic choices abound, from sound effects, to casting, to music. Brill got most everything right elsewhere in the cannon, so he must have saved up all his mistakes for Dream.

That’s really the only dud in the batch, however. The production values are spot on throughout, with Brill and his engineers creating an incredible sonic setting for the plays. A full range of sound effects is brought to bear, and these help flesh out the action which you normally either see in performance or read in the stage directions of the text. Whether it’s the opening storm of The Tempest, the battlefield of Henry V, or the grotesque torments of Titus Andronicus, the effects play a crucial role in bringing the plays to life. All of the productions are fully scored, and while some of the musical choices are simply puzzling, most nicely compliment the drama.

The cumulative effect of the entire endeavor is astounding. Perhaps the most exciting part is getting to explore those lesser known gems that are never performed on stage or in film. (For example, Cymbeline, a fairy tale with an absurdly labyrinthine plot, is a fascinating find.) The series is a treasure unequalled and, for many, still undiscovered. I only stumbled across them two years ago in the library, and was able to hear all 38 through the interlibrary loan system in my county. The complete set is available for $360 on Amazon, with individual plays going for about $14 (for 2 discs) to $17 (for 3 discs). More information can be found at Arkangel Complete Shakespeare.

The Arkangel Complete Shakespeare is a Globe of the mind, where you can disappear in the words and performances any time you like.

Thomas L. McDonald is Editor-at-Large of Games Magazine. He has covered games as a writer and editor for 17 years for numerous magazines and newspapers. Among his books are Tom McDonald’s PC Games Extravaganza (Sybex) and Sun Tzu’s Ancient Art of Golf (Contemporary, with Gary Parker Chapin). He’s also a certified catechist in the Diocese of Trenton and teaches 8th Level Catechesis and Confirmation.